Taking Life with Chances

Dating is an interesting topic for me right now.

The truth is, I’m not really ready for a relationship. And honestly, that feels okay.

I remember after a certain age, any time I brought a boyfriend around, the question from the aunts, my mom, the “older” women in the room was always the same: “Is this the one?”

That question always felt like a lot of pressure.

Even in my most recent relationship, my mom quietly asked me, “Do you think this is the one?”

At this stage of life that feels like such a big question. Sharing space with someone. Routines changing. Lives merging together. I’ve only lived with one partner before, and that was a long time ago.

Part of the reason I’m not rushing into anything is that I’ve been lucky enough to have a couple of passion projects to focus my attention on lately. Both have been surprisingly therapeutic. Tapping back into the creative space has been such a fun thing to explore. I find myself carrying around a notebook again, jotting down ideas I want to explore here on the blog or bring up on the podcast.

Getting together with two kick-ass ladies once a week to record a couple of episodes has quickly become one of my favorite parts of the week.

So while the idea of jumping into a relationship doesn’t sound appealing at the moment, there are parts of dating that still feel intriguing.

Maybe “dating-ish” is the better word.

Dating has also changed quite a bit in the last ten or fifteen years. The whole app thing really isn’t my vibe. I feel like I’m much better in person.

Like most people, small talk over messages kind of sucks, and that’s what it often turns into. Endless chatting that goes nowhere, and plenty of ghosting — some of it mine, some of it theirs.

I’m not usually a fan of sentences that start with “back in the day…” but there is a little truth to it. It used to be more common to meet people organically. You’d just be out somewhere and start talking.

As someone who no longer drinks and is still finding my social circle here, I’m honestly not entirely sure where those places are yet. Part of me was kind of hoping I’d just bump into someone in the produce aisle at Trader Joe’s.

At this stage in my life, I joke that only the universe knows when my sex drive will decide to retire altogether, so I might as well take advantage of the one I have left.

One thing my last relationship reminded me of is how much I enjoy going out on dates. Shared adventures. Trying new places. Those little experiences that just feel different when they’re done with someone else.

I was also rediscovering my sexual confidence in a way I hadn’t felt in a while, which was a nice reminder.

I don’t mind solo adventures at all. In fact, I’ve gotten pretty good at them.

Don’t get me wrong — solo pleasure isn’t exactly a hardship either. But some things are simply more fun when they’re shared.

And then there’s the flirting. The banter. That little spark of energy that can show up when you least expect it.

Crushes are ridiculous and wonderful all at the same time. Sometimes they can be the highlight of the day.

And as it turns out… I may currently have one.

But that story deserves its own post.