Between starting a new job and the various things, I have committed myself to, I have become overwhelmed.
I have noticed that when I start to feel this way, I tend to shut down and focus only on the minimum things that need to get done.
Going to work.
Feeding and walking the dog.
Basic hygiene.
Maybe feeding myself.
Everything else tends to get dropped because I no longer have the desire or energy to hold space for it, or honestly, anyone else for that matter.
Instead, I hyper-focus on the thing that caused me to feel overwhelmed in the first place and try to tackle it one task at a time.
I have to be careful not to get sidetracked by easier things.
I would much rather clean my kitchen than sit down and gather all the documents I need to send to my mortgage lender.
Even though there are deadlines attached to that goal, I practically have to force myself into the chair to get it done.
The people pleaser in me starts showing up too.
I sign up for too many things.
I want to do it all.
But the reality is, I am not built to take it all on at once.
Then I start thinking about who I am letting down.
The people I have backed away from.
The commitments I haven’t shown up for fully.
The text messages I haven’t returned.
The volunteer opportunities I said yes to before realizing my plate was already full.
I also compare myself to the people around me.
I watch what others are doing and how they spend their time, and I convince myself I should be doing the same thing.
That if I’m not constantly moving, creating, volunteering, socializing, working, and growing, somehow I’m not living up to my full potential.
That I should be doing more.
It is hard to admit that I am not built exactly the same as everyone else.
That I need different things to recharge my battery.
That sometimes spending a Sunday at church feels overwhelming, while taking Chance to the park and being outdoors feels like exactly what I need.
The hard part is allowing myself to make that choice without feeling guilty about it.
One of the many takeaways I got from therapy was that it is okay to simply say, “No thank you.”
You do not need a reason.
You do not need an explanation.
You do not need a defense prepared for why you are declining something.
As much as I understand that concept intellectually, it is still not something that comes naturally to me.
Because somewhere in the back of my mind, I still believe I should be able to do it all.
And maybe that is the real problem.
Not that I am overwhelmed.
But that I keep expecting myself not to be.
Taking Life with Chances 
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