Taking Life with Chances

It is funny what the mind holds on to, whether they’re memories or just things that live there rent free.

Some make me cry.

Others make me laugh or smile.

Every once in a while, something completely random will trigger one of them, and I am forced to pause.

It seems the same ones loop back around over and over again, which makes me wonder why these particular moments stuck around.

It’s strange that I can remember all of these little moments, yet sometimes struggle to remember something as important as the sound of a loved one’s voice.

The George Harrison song Got My Mind Set on You will forever remind me of my elementary school crush. I made them a mixtape on my double tape deck boombox, recording over the word “you” and replacing it with the name Kyle. I left it on their doorstep with a note and ran away.

Take Me Home Tonight by Eddie Money being played over the office speakers after telling a story about my friend having a crush on someone at work and imagining that song playing in their head whenever they saw them. The look on their face when they realized it was actually playing throughout the office.

The woman we lovingly call “Barbara,” who lives in Manchester, California, yelling at us for accidentally pulling into her driveway instead of the one for our Airbnb. We spent the rest of the weekend making up stories about her and her husband, convincing ourselves they were going to murder us in our sleep.

My final night of partying, and how the person I was the rudest to ended up being the one standing in the parking lot checking on me while I was throwing up everywhere.

A springform pan that was purchased to make a cheesecake that took much longer than any cheesecake should.

A date in my early twenties, being picked up in a car that was very clearly stolen because there was a screwdriver in the ignition.

I can’t make breakfast potatoes without thinking about the ex-con who taught me how to make them and hearing him remind me to leave them alone and let them do their thing.

How much meaning a single nickel and a bolt can hold.

A San Diego trip that became one of the most embarrassing moments of my life… one I’ll probably take to the grave.

Sitting at the top of the stairs at my grandparents’ house during a funeral service, being told we had to stay completely quiet and not flush the toilets until it was over.

I don’t know why these memories stayed.

I don’t know why others disappeared.

I just know that every once in a while, one of them shows up out of nowhere, and for a few seconds, I’m right back there.

Maybe that’s enough.