I was listening to a podcast the other day, and there were a few quotes that really stood out to me. I’ve been thinking about them quite a bit since.
It was an interview with director Guillermo del Toro, someone I’m not particularly familiar with since I’m not really into horror films. Honestly, it wasn’t an interview I would normally listen to, but I was caught up on my usual podcasts.
I ended up rewinding the interview a handful of times to catch the little nuggets that stood out to me. The ones that made me think a bit more and eventually found their way into my shower thoughts and journal entries.
One of the things he said that really hit me was:
“Your windshield should always be bigger than your rearview mirror.”
Wow.
When I heard that, I just sat there thinking about how much time I’ve been spending looking in my rearview mirror.
Meanwhile, my windshield is covered in dead bugs and cracks, and I can barely see through the damn thing.
I’ve been having such a hard time focusing on what’s ahead because I’ve been spending so much time looking at what I left behind.
And most of that time in my rearview mirror has been spent thinking about the void I was trying to fill by leaving California.
Wondering if I’d just taken a beat, maybe I could have filled that void while still maintaining the life I had.
But as I start clearing the bugs off my windshield and working on repairing those cracks, I’m beginning to see some of the things I’ve learned on this adventure.
Some lessons came pretty quickly, like realizing how important the routine of a stable 9-to-5 job is for me.
What I didn’t expect was discovering how much I was missing a spiritual practice.
Finding my fellowship and the community that came with it has taught me that having a spiritual practice is something that’s genuinely important to me.
And I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t piss me off that I didn’t figure this out before lighting the match on my life.
But what I’m starting to recognize is that this move forced me to meet people and find connections in a way I probably never would have done back home.
I had my people.
I didn’t need to go looking for more.
Before moving, I was exploring spirituality through tarot cards, crystals, and books that leaned more toward connecting with the earth. It felt like a much more solitary practice.
The fellowship I’ve found here has given me the opportunity to explore some of those same things, but in a community rather than on my own.
It’s a good reminder that the lessons I’ve learned so far on this journey aren’t always these huge bolts of lightning.
Sometimes they’re the smaller drops.
And I really need to recognize those, too.
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